rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
