At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize