Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
