Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
there was a trapeze. enough said
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Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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