Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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