So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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