just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
