Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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