Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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