So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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