So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
