It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
