I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
