VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
