i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
