we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
