i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
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We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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