I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
