Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
