i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
