could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
