no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
