She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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