Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.