Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
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At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.