i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.