Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Blood and glitter go together right?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.