i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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