Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
