so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
