also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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