I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
