Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sober January is a disaster.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
