Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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