ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
vagina is talking i cant
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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