I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
