so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
