I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
