so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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