halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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