I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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