Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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