I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
