Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
