watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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