But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
