i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
