yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
