ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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