apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm getting married
To pizza
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
