Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
