I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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