if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
