you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
