this just has baby written all over it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Alive.
So much puke
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
