he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
