They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
