Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
