i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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